Detachment

I just realised how mentally detached I am from this “blogger” personality of mine. I was visiting the sites of all the blogs I usually visit like voxy, iceangel, xiaxue, jayden, *her, sibehsian, thingsthatmakemegofuck etc etc and i happened to want to log in to post here so i decided to load my own site as well. None of them updated as i was going through the tabs so i was cursing #&%^$!! nothing to read everytime i came upon an unupdated blog including mine(like duh right if i don’t update my own blog who will?) after i went thrpugh all da tabs i remembered i wanted to update my own blog 2 and i realised how detached i was from this blogging personality of mine.

I know its a circular argument kinda but whatever.

And now i’ve forgotten what i really wanted to post an entry about so i’ll just name this entry detachment and end it.

Cheers! 

Don’t mind me waxing lyrical bout the obvious

Baby i’ll never hurt you
I’ll never make you choose
I’ll always be here for you
Cuz babe, I l_ _ _ you

My heart is in the past and my mind is in the future. The only thing in the present is my body which is in tired to death zone.

And it comes down to

Me pushing you away when you have every right to be where you are. But i do apologise, a place in my heart is not something that you can ever have. its completely not you fault. to be cliche, its not you, its me. i guess cliches are cliches because they have so much truth in them.

Though i don’t know very much about you you don’t seem like the type of person who will screw my life up but i’ve been in this position before and i chose to give up my resistance and all it got me was drunk and robbed.

i want to believe you’re different, you have no idea how much, but everytime i do something completely unrelated happens and i make causal links to why we’re not going to work or why eventually you’ll realise you can do better.

i want to be your everything and more imortantly i want you to know that i want to right all your wrongs. i want to be the one to make sure that u don’t fall short of the greatness that is your right. damn it all those emo songs are beginning to make sense again, i swore i wouldn’t let this happen to me again.

i’m sorry, as much as this could potentially be worth i’d prefer a sure quarter to an unsure million, you know that. i’ll stay with you as a friend, no matter how much it will break my heart.

We’ll see

I’ll love you, now and forevermore. I’d just rather have a small heartache now than a bigger one later. I’m not too sure how much heartbreak one heart can take and I’m sorry but I’d rather not find out

I need a gf

badly

 Postnote: I hate this emotional rollercoaster

Post post note:

Screwed

as the title says

i hate me

Postnote: As soon as forever is through, I’ll be over you. I wonder if i’m holding the past so tightly that i can’t hold the present?

I am a doormat

I shall strive to be a jerk again.

many posts today cuz the gf to be(hopefully) is leaving me dangling for an unusally long amount of time

To listen to my brain or heart is the question part 3

brain it is, i just realised i hate the way you have control over how i feel.

WTF

i’m damn irritated cuz random ppl keep asking me for kelvin chia’s blog so here it is people,

http://www.jurist.sg/blog/

knock yourselves out!

To listen to my brain or heart is the question part 2

I want to jump in with both feet and just go wherever we happen to land. the only problem is that whenever i’ve done that before pretty soon the we becomes i and i have no idea where i’m headed or why i’m headed there. this is very frustrating especially considering that what i want to do and what i’m doing are two completely different things. wish someone had given me a book on life.

To listen to my brain or heart is the question

The answer will be made known as soon i have figured it out.