Emo part 1

part 1 as i know there will be many more parts 2 come. not all will be linked but if they are, tough. i always say i am happy for her but really who am i kidding? not me sadly cuz whenever i close my eyes all i see is her and whenever i hold someones hand i wish it were hers. i dont know what you didnt see in me or saw in me that you didnt like but i wish i did. i could change. even if that doesnt please you id change more. if still no at least id know why rather than perpetually questioning myself and changing but never knowing. i know you say someone shouldnt change for someone else but the change wouldnt be for u, it wld be for me, so that i can make you happy. i cant get over my pride but id try. i know insecurity would plague me forever but i dont think just that was worth the brush off. yet here i am, one night before halloween, typing on my stupid keyboard while i bet you are partying with your friends probably at zouk, butter factory or mos. i wouldnt even be suprised if you were making out with your ex or even someone new but tht doesen make me hate you, it only makes me feel that much more inadequate and completely fucked up