OMG

Omg this is bloody insane i just realised 5 ppl visited my blog yesterday. n man i didnt expect anyone to read what i wrote. kk i really gotta run off. will update soon tho i doubt the ppl who came yesterday are gonna come back but yes i will. lol

Busy day

Damn busy day today. And i still have an insane amount of stuff to do. will update with more emoness soon. btw, its not that im always emo its just that if im gonna have a blog whats the point of saying all da happy stuff which i can share with my friends? the only use is to vent on feelings i cant usually talk about.

Emo part 1

part 1 as i know there will be many more parts 2 come. not all will be linked but if they are, tough. i always say i am happy for her but really who am i kidding? not me sadly cuz whenever i close my eyes all i see is her and whenever i hold someones hand i wish it were hers. i dont know what you didnt see in me or saw in me that you didnt like but i wish i did. i could change. even if that doesnt please you id change more. if still no at least id know why rather than perpetually questioning myself and changing but never knowing. i know you say someone shouldnt change for someone else but the change wouldnt be for u, it wld be for me, so that i can make you happy. i cant get over my pride but id try. i know insecurity would plague me forever but i dont think just that was worth the brush off. yet here i am, one night before halloween, typing on my stupid keyboard while i bet you are partying with your friends probably at zouk, butter factory or mos. i wouldnt even be suprised if you were making out with your ex or even someone new but tht doesen make me hate you, it only makes me feel that much more inadequate and completely fucked up

Not on google

Man i ticked “let my blog appear on technorati and google searches” yet when i googled my url i got zippo, zilch, zero results. WTF! On a separate note, i think i am a jerk, but i am a sorry apologetic jerk so i’m hoping that negates the thought that i am a jerk. yet, why am i a jerk? attention seeking obviously! when you don’t call someone they’ll call, when u aren’t nice crazily people come back for more. being a nice guy never got me nothing yet being a jerk doesn’t get me very much more but at least i am far more satisfied cuz i can claim to be fully in control and be the cause of this ambivalence. also i’m absolute shyt with expressing myself but i’m damn proud to have explained everything thus far.

What a waste

before i started this account i had so many plans to bitch about this and get emo about that but now that i’m actually on my keyboard typing out a post i have no idea what to write about. probably i’m not drunk enough. or maybe i just don’t see how my writing about some thing is going to change it. or maybe i things are looking up for me. hah right

Hello world!

Wow a first post. theres nothing quite like a first cuz everythg else is either second, third, fourth, fifth and so on.. but no no this is a first post so i shall make full use of it.

first things first, i need to go out now so more in my second and sebsequent posts!

soon!!